16th November 2005-

I feel confused... LOL, luckly, i dont think so hard if im drunk...

So now i decided 2 instances that make me happy.
1) A person
2) Alcohol

Since im happy about a person, im unhappy because im happy about that person, and since im unhappy, i drink to get happy again... Its a bloody vicious cycle... Blah

And dont you think the word happy is funny? It looks funny, the letters that spell it, H A P P Y... Even the word sounds wierd... haha

7th November 2005-

Hmm, maybe Thursday's unbalance was because i was an illness waiting to happen, lol... Fell sick over the weekend :o

Friday night started feeling feverish, and Saturday was the bomb! Still went out the whole day though, but didnt stay late at all...

On MC for today and tmr, hope to get some rest...

Crap, last 2 weekends spoilt cos of duty and illness... Grumble... Getting better tho, no longer craving alcohol... But drinking would be a bonus tho :D

To me, that is :p

5th November 2005-...Help me...

Im confused, alcoholic, exhausted and depressed...

And im not sure salsa helps anymore, Thursday night wasnt all that good, something just wasnt right...

Emotionally unbalanced now, hope something becomes clear to me soon...

Alcohol craving 24/7.... Gotta try to beat the habit...

Exhausted? Tonight skipping class and sleeping early, hope that helps...

Depressed? Ties with emotionally unbalanced and confused...

...Help...

30th October 2005-Home

Went for a run, felt good!

Yesterday wake up to Mom asking me if i should take a call, Msg Halim on the line...
Kena stun, he asked if i knew i was duty on Saturday...
I said, noo, my duty is on Sunday...
Then he said, come down, its your duty today, there was a change, how come noone informed you?
I was like, ~!#@~$ okok, i be there soon, i stay far away...

Cursed and swore my way down to Nee Soon camp, DAMN the bloody people who changed my duty, and DAMN the people without the courtesy to inform me... Scared i take MC issit?

End up cannot go for dinner with friends, no salsa... NO SALSA.... @#%@
Sianz...

But on the bright side, i had 2 friends kind enough to entertain me over the phone... Thx guys!

26th October 2005

Why?

24th October 2005-Terminator

Al "liquid silver" Espinoza, omg...

He did a salsa performance yesterday, was so good! Millenium salsa, hiphop integrated into salsa, the isolation and body movement was godlike..

Was a great nite, but too cramped to dance properly, not bad a place though, the decor almost the same as Embassy, only carpeted, lol!

Wonderful chillout place! Balcony open air, with wooden raised platform and cushions and low tables, so nice to just hang out and look at stars!

So sad that i missed both bachata songs they played that nite :( sob sob

14th October 2005

Wow... Thursday is so fun for salsa! Its like, a lot of friends friends friends, more people to dance with!

Found the one thing in dance thats gets me really hyper and high... the dips! LOL! Know only 1 atm, but when the follow really throws herself into the dip and it goes really low, the feeling is indescribable!

Hyper!

9th October 2005- Carls Jr!

Went shopping, got a pair of jeans, finally :p now i have 2 wearable pairs! (actually 4, but 2 not very comfortable :p)

Was deciding where to go eat dinner, then Jean suggested Carls Jr... Go until Raffles Place then she say maybe its closed on weekends... Pengz :p

Then finally managed to find the place, order burger and get drinks... Got salsa sauce also, lol!
The burgers were HUGE! The side dishes were, too! Onion rings the size of your face! No la, but almost that big :p

Great burgers, greater place! Definately worth checking out :)


Then we had salsa... Great fun! Experimented alittle and figured out a simple dip! Whee!
Then Shirine sorta challenged me to a flaming lambo :p Wah! Drink already cant spin, keep losing balance... :p

Sorta a bad balance day yesterday, kept stepping on Jean :p SORRY! We counted 4 or 5 i think :p... Try so hard to keep lady safe from others stepping, and end on ownself step on her :p siaoz

Great friends, great music, great dances, yesterday was totally cool!

8th October 2005

Hmm, just got home from camp. Yesterday unloading for claymore exercise, reported at Seletar at 6 am, then stayed at Changi Naval Base until 2230hrs, drove 1 and a half hrs back to Seletar, and decided to sleep at camp cos a cab will be a bomb :p

Felt crappy, but hey, its an experience. The view off a pier is so nice! Water everywhere, and windy in the evening, beautiful!

Convoy movement also not too bad, fun to play at least once i guess, damn worried i lose the vehicle in front of me, cos i have bad direction sense :p Sure get very badly lost one!

Nevermind, today will be a good day!

Gonna shop for clothes and go salsa, what can possibly go wrong man... Wait, dont tell me, i dont wanna know :)

7th October 2005- Best time of my life

OMG, OMG,OMG!

Finally realised what Ben meant when a good dance makes your day.
I had a TON of GREAT dances today!
The ladies were super cool, and had a ton of shines, danced with Fi! wow! Very interesting to watch her do shines!
Cynthia also alot of shines, very interesting to watch her do, also got chance to do body movement with both of these ladies! Fun fun!

It was crazy today, had so much of a good time, hope it only gets better!

Looking forward to Saturday already!

6th October 2005- Moody?

Life is good, friends are good, salsa is good, work at camp is doable, so,

why do i still feel so crappy?
why do i still feel the need to get hopelessly drunk?
why?

2nd October 2005-

Its Sunday! Friend just came back from Shanghai, helped me get drink, so happy!

Yesterday was so fun, although danced with 2 ladies only, you know who you are :)

Everything was right, timing, rhythm, feel...

Did training, took smaller steps, as J&J suggested, wasnt as difficult as i thought, haha! The moves i did were simple, but everything came easily!

The bachata and merengue were best :) very very fun, with alot of "feel" to it... Now i know why Jon loves bachata :) and merengue is really nice if you spin fast fast :)

Had supper(Drinks) until late, really late, like this morning 5 am, haha! Talk until blur blur, then very sleepy, too bad friend had to work today :O

But overall,
Happi!

Also got a set of dance vids from friend, its a competition kind of thing, like "American Idol", but with dance, havent watched yet, but drooling liaoz :o)

25th September 2005-WoWee!

Was at Union yesterday, coupla friends went down, as usual stayed until late.

Glad I did, the gems came out at about 2am... The dance floor had ALL PROS, ALL!

Each one had their unique style, all of they played with the music, danced and grooved so totally in tune with the sounds... It was crazy, i was practically staring at them stunned...

Also alot of funny stuff happens at night, like a lady who was "snatched" by guys, each cutting into the dance and taking turns, its so cool!

And the usual jokers, ahah, dance with arms across each other, 2 guys with 1 lady, so funny, haha!

Was so cool to be able to see all these happening, enjoyed it very very much!

Jwo's class shows alot of promise! haha! Got at least 2 very promising ladies i danced with, and the guys seem garang enough... Very nice to have more people to salsa!

23rd September 2005-Frustration

Darn. Just fininished Improver lesson 4. It was really bad.
1)Didnt enjoy myself.
2)Ladies i danced with couldnt really follow, and a couple of them backlead soo badly.
3)Ladies i danced with didnt know what they were supposed to do/how they were supposed to follow, really nasty.
4)Class going really slow because some people dont do social dancing, and still wanna continue salsa lessons, most irritating, because it slows down the class, and the ladies dont really improve if the lead cant do nuts.
5)Couldnt catch all the stuff that was taught. Very pissed at myself.

Hope life gets better. Salsa life, that is, haha! Finally understand why Ben was so pissed at some Rueda people... Hope it gets better in I2, heard only the serious dancers make it to there :D

Work wasnt so bad, managed to hit target... Whee... More vehicles next week, must work like a mad dog again to cope with target. Hope we get some incentive or benefit man... Sighz

Bright side, had dessert with a friend today... She actually came all the way down after work, supposed to eat but neither one hungry, lolz, so dessert it was. Maxwell market egg tofu, lol! Not a wasted trip for her, brought her to JJ studio and got her the lesson schedule... Shes gonna start lessons at JJ! :D

Tmr, today rather, will be meeting Jason for cooking! Looking forward to trying his recipes :D

11th September 2005-Damn girls, really, damn.

My heart goes out to all those NSF men out there whose girlfriends wanted a break for whatever reason.

Why NSF guys? Why do girls get bored of us army guys?

They just DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND. They think university is all there is to life, deadlines, projects, exams. They wonder why WE cannot understand them, why WE dont console them and give them the attention they deserve, why WE cannot entertain them?

Sorry gals, but your thinking is just DAMN FUCKED up. We are over here, slogging our fucking guts out for our country. All you girls think about is yourself. Why arent the guys giving me attention? Why are the guys not treating me like a princess, like a treasure? You think we all wanna spend 2 plus years doing something that makes us left out of the world? Something that isolates us from "The Rest" of the Uni students? Naive Idealistic Bitches.

What the HELL. We start army stories, and you feel left out. We dont, we have nothing to talk about. Hell, you think army is as good as Uni life? Fuck you. Its not all roses over here, FYI. You like getting fucked by superiors in a job you cant quit? For a miserable pay too? Welcome, sign on in the army, slut. Maybe then you would recognise our hardships during our National Service.
Quit bitching about how we dont treat you the same, or have no time for you.

Hell, WE might end up in UNI too, DONT INSIST WE DONT UNDERSTAND. WE WILL. On the other hand, most girls will NEVER KNOW what we go through in army. GIRLS DONT UNDERSTAND. Words from us wont paint a complete picture. SIGN ON. A picture paints a MILLION WORDS. See things through OUR EYES INSTEAD OF YOUR OWN FUCKING MISGUIDED ONES.

Selfish sluts.

Excuse me, if your a nice girl that loves your NSF boy. I speak for the majority of the Uni Girl breaking the NSF Boy's heart. Specially if they were in the same school, same age, yadayada.

Just that most Singaporean Girls are SLUTS. They expect everything from a guy, but they dont fucking give back. Think pussy is all you need to get everything you want? Slut. Car.Condo.Credit Card.Cash.Country Club. AND YOU WANT THE GUYS ATTENTION. Think about it. If the guy has to SLOG HIS ASS OFF FOR THE 5Cs, YOU THINK HE STILL HAS TIME TO BRING YOU TO SPAS EVERY OTHER DAY? Dream on, bitch. Dream on.

Or, you could just go for AngMoh guys. Be the slutty SPG you really are.

11th September 2005- Mission Impossible, Possible!

Army Half Marathon today. Ran with a friend, we kept each other going for most of the run.

Somehow, i managed to finish the run, without walking, all the way keep going.

Thanks to everyone who made it possible! Shirine for her endless encouragement, and Firdaus for the support and company during the run! Most importantly Dad, for transport, and support, if not I wouldnt even make it there on time, haha!

Its a huge acomplishment for me, as there was almost no training for us, basically I went in not being able to run the 21.1km, and still somehow managed it!

Was smiling throughout the run, was smiling and encouraging even when I had multiple leg cramps... Was laughing all the way, talking, chitchatting, even though between us only I did the talking...

With cramps at the knees and calves of both legs, i still pushed on, going even though it was hurting...

The best part is the 1 extra day off due to the medal recieved...

I guess I discovered something about life, and myself today.

In life, mentality is everything. I told myself that the run is just a mind game, and I played like it was a mind game, and won, even though my body was in no shape for the run.

In myself, I have found a new determination and drive, and for what I want, nothing can stop me.

I guess for this new mental strength I have 1 person to thank...
Thanks Val...

So now got 3 days off, happy..

Bought dance shoes last Saturday, but couldnt use due the AHM... Think christmas present you cant open... LOL... SOON!

9th September 2005-Whew

Whew... Just when I thought I couldnt handle more...

JJ Rueda class postponed, probably to next month... Whew, Can do Improver in peace :)

Very tired, but got 2 full days tmr to rest, not including the Marathon, wish me luck :p

8th September 2005- Terrible, just terrible

OMG, today, yesterday, the dancing was terrible... I Missed beats, lots of them. Dance on wrong beat most of the songs, most of the time. Am at a total loss for moves.

Might just be tired, need sleep, sigh...

Terrible terrible...

Then still got added stress of performing up to my own standards now, cos got Rueda, starting Sunday...

Sigh, maybe next week i rest, or go down once only...

Too tired, need sleep :p

5th September 2005-And Now...

Ok.... just downed everything, sorta waitinf for the effect to take place...

Reember, the speeling errprs you see are all because of the alchool, nothing else... Each spacing between sentences is about 2 mins interval... Juast to track my progess..

okkkaaay, feeling a little burn in my tummy.... haha

Vison getting blurdry, hands and head getting disconnected, o can type but dnot feel my hands moving... funny... feeling.... hahahaha... wOOT!

Still sane, think i should down more tequila, hmm

ok! More tequila!

Oww.. Tequila from the bottle into throat feels really hot... ouch! Drinking Martini Bianco on the rocks fto tocool down my throat, haa

Oooo, feeling really woosy... hahah, can still chat, can still type straight if i put in some effort, but its like the words appear without me actuall y knowing what im wrighting, haha

feel like more tequila, i dunno tho.... Just finisehd mu martinai....

Gonning for another tequila plus martine! woot1

Got another shot of tequila, and 1 shot of martini bianco mixed, with some grendaine syrup inside. brings the total to 4 plus tequila and 3 plus martini, with a stout...

Gonna drink already, wish me luck... haha!

My gooodness... the mix is getting me even more heady... haha... its a nice ribina coulour... ribena coulour... ribena colour... ya, ribena colour.... haha! shit la... forget it///

shit, almost gone now

not quite, but like 65 percent? haha, everything is funky now, io feel ahappiy!
crappy, but happy... Gals, sheesh, are they really worth it man? i dunno... Wju am i even mentioning them? dunno sia, muz be drunk liaoz...

Just finished last drink, gonna get choclolates to muinch...

Mom said my face red, i just laughted it off,, almost finished a bar of cadbury chocholate, the big one, woooo!

OMG, just had a long phone converstation, and im like so cluose to plyking... Pukning,, i suck at drinking. sigh

5th September 2005- Ready, Set.....

Ok, gonna get a shot glass
Measure out maybe 3-5 shots of tequila
Down that
AND Chase it with a can o Stout

Later, i will make a post, lets see if spelling is correct eh?